Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Sun

Last week, all was good.  There were great morning runs before the stupidly excessive heat struck, and there were days at the pool at Grammy and Pop's.  We had Slip N Slide days, and play all day days.  There were bon fire nights, and a Toby Keith night too.

We headed out the "The Lake" to visit Grandma and Grandpa and had a blast there, swimming and sitting in the shade and  soaking up the 100+* weather.  Is the Earth about to explode from the inside or something?
The kids can't wait to see this right here. This means we're almost to "The Lake"!
All the while, trying to soak up every moment that was sneaking by at record pace.  Moments that you just can't. get. back.  Between the "Get away from me!"s and the "Moooooom, she's touching me!"s and the "If you two don't stop right now...!"s, there were so many "I can't believe how lucky we are"s and "Just look at our beautiful children"s and "I wish this moment could last forever"s.

I was smart paranoid enough to have my dumb excuse for a camera/phone phone with me on a run around the lake and I was lucky enough to capture the sun coming up one morning.  I stopped, well, mostly because there was a loose dog running in the road ahead of me, but then mostly because I just wanted to see the sun over the corn field and just - look for a second.  Just that minute where I felt like I really never had before.  Like the sun was saying "Good Morning!  Remember this moment!!"

After some reflection, it's all too clear that The Waker of the Day was hitting me between the eyes with a different little message, "Remember me, and try to find the good it what's to come.  You'll need to pray and search for a silver lining the next few days, so remember me."  Boy, this has been a "so you say there's a silver lining?" kind of few days.

At the risk of sounding vague, there was a pins and needles family situation that needed much prayer as a few days went by with uncertainty.  Everyone and everything is on the mend, thank the Lord.  Man, you just never know.

At the risk of sounding vague, again, an awesome man, a close friend of my husband and fellow football coach tragically passed away on this 4th of July.  The sun, a few days before, was trying to burn the beauty into my mind for moments where it seems like all the beauty is lost.  The sun will be back to remind us, but right now, it's hard to remember even a few days back, the feeling it gave me.  As long as it comes back each morning, hope remains that the silver lining is somewhere to be found.

It's hard not to sound cliche when times like these come around, and they do, and it's horrible.  And it's gut wrenching, and it just makes you sick.  And it's senseless.  And it's unfair.  And it makes you want to question that stupid sun.  But, man, it will sure knock some sense into you.   Makes you appreciate those moments in your every days.  Makes you take a second to really listen to your children and to look right into their blue eyes and etch that memory into your fibers.  Makes you look up into the sky and capture the pure beauty of the sunshine for moments when you can't really even seem to imagine that it was ever there.

I'm going to go and hug my family and say a little prayer for the family of our friend.  Tomorrow, I'll be on my morning run, and Mr. Sunshine will likely be back at it again.  I'll be listening, and soaking in the rays, because, boy, we really need them now.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry, Melissa. Hang in there, my friend.

    And, this: Makes you take a second to really listen to your children and to look right into their blue eyes and etch that memory into your fibers.

    So well said!


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